Episode 36 – Tip Tuesday-What To Do When A Busy Mom Wants Simple Days, An Easier Schedule & a Little Time for Self-Care… - Intentional Edit

On this Tip Tuesday Episode, another listener question is answered – a busy mom of 3 young children wants to know what can be done to bring simple routines and an easier schedule to her home and family. Listen to Episode 36 – Tip Tuesday-What To Do When A Busy Mom Wants Simple Days, An Easier Schedule & a Little Time for Self-Care, to find out where to begin in simplifying your days.

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Full Episode Transcription:

With three littles at home, it can be hard to carve out even five minutes for yourself. I’m answering a listener question today on this Tuesday episode to help this mom and you start the process of simplifying your days and creating easier routines to lessen the daily struggle. Hey friends, quick tips that make a big impact in your life are my favorite ways to implement systems around the house. I’ve been sharing easy strategies and my go-to organizing products for tip Tuesday on the intentional at Instagram feed for a few years. Now I’m excited to bring it to the podcast with sure episodes answering your questions every Tuesday. If you want me to answer your questions, go to the podcast page on intentional edit, do and submit your questions there. Let’s get started on this tip Tuesday episode of the intentional edit podcast. Hello and happy Tuesday.

(00:52):

I am excited to be recording this tip Tuesday episode and answering another listener question today. If you have questions or comments or concerns, and want me to answer a question for you head over to intentional edit.com. You can click on that link in the podcast description and click on the button that says record. Now it’ll pop up on the side or bottom of your screen, click that button and you can record a message for me just like you would leave a voicemail for a friend and I will answer your on a future tip Tuesday episode, it’s super easy and I would love to help you. The question today comes from Skylar Ray, and she sent me an email that says how to apply a simple, easy routine, a schedule for every day. I have a six year old, three year old and a two year old, and it is me against them or them against me.

(01:44):

And all I want is to have easygoing days and time for self care, because I feel like I don’t have much time for myself. Thank you, Skylar Ray for submitting this question, this question, it’s common. This is a common statement. If you have little kids at home or young children at home, you feel like you don’t have a lot of time for yourself. Any time for self care, the days can be difficult. First thing I want you to remember is with kids. They’re constantly changing your daily routines, your lifestyle, the things that you are committed to activities and commitments and all of that, the developmental stages change so quickly. Remember that this time that you’re in this is a season or a stage, whatever you wanna call it, your kids are constantly changing it. And you can probably see that significantly because you have a two and a three year old.

(02:39):

And the difference between what they can do, the expectations that you have for each of them, even just their personalities are significant, good systems are the key. A good routine is so important here because when you have those in place, then as the stages and phases change, because your kids are getting older or you change jobs, or these significant things happen in your life, you can make little modifications without having big disruptions to your day to day. Little changes are easy to make when you have good systems and good routines in place in this comment that you sent in. And you’re asking for that, you’re saying that you want a simple, easy routine schedule for every day. Let’s talk about that. That’s the goal for all of us. And depending on our days, some people have very similar schedules every day of the week. Looks like the one before it, some of us, especially as your kids get older and you are, have more activities and D schedules to work with outside of the home each day looks a bit different.

(03:46):

I would love to have more information specifically is your six year old in school. Do you homeschool? Does that six year old go to school every day? Does the three year old participate in any type of preschool or activity outside of the home? Those things work into how you create a schedule for yourself to change the mindset around the wake up times and getting out the door and all of that from frustration. If it’s not fitting into the simple day that you are desiring to, how do you take those? Nongo like the start time of school or the pickup time of school and make simple routines around that you can eliminate the frustration around it, make it just part of the day, make it a, uh, part of your day that is easily flowing and not any obstacles with that. One thing. When I hear the ages of your kid, I would assume that the two year old is still napping.

(04:43):

And depending on if it’s a new three year old or almost four year old, maybe you even get some naps outta that three year old too. What does that look like in your day? Is it at the same time? If I knew a little bit more, I could be more specific to exactly how this would apply for your family, but just in general, your six year old is at school. If you could move the nap time to before you have to pick the six year old up. And also if the three year old is not having nap time anymore, have a quiet time in there. Then you have a little bit of a break in your day, even if it’s just 30 minutes, but you can get that refresher in for yourself. Put your phone down and have just a few minutes where you’re not picking up, cleaning up, doing dishes.

(05:27):

Just have a few minutes where you can take that for yourself. And even that is just a little bit of self care that can refresh you for the rest of the day. I also want you to remember, you have three kids between the ages of six and two to take a minute and recognize all that you are doing in a day. What are you accomplishing in a day in a week, in an hour? This is a big deal. Take a few minutes and think about all the things that you accomplish in a day. Little things, big things, driving your kids to, to school, getting them there safely, feeding them breakfast, providing them with clothes, a warm place to live, feeding them, showering, bathing, all the things that you do for them and yourself all day long, because you’re accomplishing so much as humans. It’s easy to get caught up in, what are we not doing?

(06:19):

Like if you have a to-do list, what didn’t get done, if you had 10 things on that list and nine of them got done, we don’t focus on the nine things that we accomplished. We focus on the one thing we didn’t. That’s something that most people can work on. Shift your mindset. Be grateful for the things that you are accomplishing in a day, because with three kids, six and under you are doing a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back for that because you are accomplishing a lot. I see where you have a frustration and you’re looking for a system. You wanna create a system to eliminate the me against them. Them against me. The feeling is where each day are not easy or running smoothly because I don’t know very specific details of the struggles in general, identify the pain point. Where is the biggest problem?

(07:08):

What’s the biggest struggle. And then you find a solution for that. Everyone will be different. Is it getting out the door on time? Is it the hours? And the, when the six year old is out of the house and the younger, it’s just you and the younger two, is it after school? Is it right before the dinner hour? Is it that you can’t get dinner on the table because the kids are too needy at that time and you haven’t found a way to cook dinner and do all of that. Is it bedtime is a time hour taking a really long time and you can’t get the kids to bed at a reasonable time. So you’re so exhausted. You just collapse in a heap and go to sleep yourself. Every family will have a different area. That is the main problem area. And that’s where I want you to start find the place in your day.

(07:58):

That is the biggest struggle that is causing you. The biggest frustration. That’s where you have to find the solution, break it down into small manageable steps. Once you have identified where the biggest struggle is, create a routine, open your phone, jot this down in your notes. If you need to get out a piece of paper and pen, if you wanna do it that way, come up with the things that solve the problems for the those times during the day, is it after school? What do you need to do? Could everyone sit down and have a snack together? Then the two little kids have more of, uh, independent play time. And then you help the six year old with homework. Whatever the biggest struggle is, we have to come up with steps to create a routine, to simplify that time of the day. Once you have done that, and you’ve identified that big problem, and then you have created this blueprint for what does it look like to solve this problem so that we do not have a struggle at this time in the day, and you’re creating the blueprint for your routine.

(09:03):

Then you’re going to make the changes that you’ve come up with and implement that for two weeks, at least two weeks, you’re not gonna have amazing results overnight. And you may even have to do some changes. Your kids might be resistant at first, but you keep going do it for two weeks. And then if there’s some little tweaks that need to be made, go ahead and make the tweaks and continue on. You need to do the routine for two weeks before you add another system in place. You’re not gonna put that, that set second system into a trial period until the first system is working for two weeks because we wanna make sure we iron out all the kinks and make it so that it’s a smooth, easy system in your life. And it is reducing your stress and not adding to it. So once that system has been going, or that routine has been for two weeks and it’s working, then identify another problem.

(10:00):

What’s another area you’re struggling with and do the same thing, create a routine around that so that you can simplify that area of your life and implement that for two weeks. And you move on through the course of your day and the things that needed to be done in your home to create these systems and routines until you have the balance that you’re looking for throughout the day and the week, if your struggles are surrounding things that come up like grocery shopping or getting things done, running errands, and it’s too much think about how to make your days easier in terms of one stop shopping. If you have two days a week where the six year old and the three year old are in school, then maybe you use that time. You drop the three year old off, and then you take the two year old with you.

(10:52):

And that’s when you do the grocery shopping or you do the grocery pickup, maybe be grocery pickup is the same day each week. And it’s after school pickup time or an early release day or something like that. Look at your schedule. If you take a weekly calendar and fill in all of the must have things that you have, do not have control over that. You can change and look at your schedule based on that. And then you fill in with the other things that need to be done, but that have flexibility that will help you create a schedule in terms of a physical schedule where sometimes moving nap, time up 30 minutes or 30 minutes later creates more balance and gives you time that you need to be able to do something or going to the grocery store, running an errand, dropping something off, picking something up, things like that, fit that into your day so that you’re not adding to what you already have to do, but you are going to those places.

(11:54):

When it makes sense, you have to fill the car up with gas. I say this on a number of episodes. Don’t make a special trip for that, do it when you’re already out and you’re driving by the gas station. Another thing I wanna talk about is when you’re setting up these new routines and systems, try to eliminate distractions. When you say in your comment or question that you feel like it’s you against the kids or the kids against you change up what you’re doing in your day. Think about the transitions. When you need to get the kids from one thing to the next simple things like going outside and playing for 15 minutes can really simplify a lot because you’re changing something up, let your kids know what to expect and doing the same things over and over creating the routines for them. When they have the expectations that are set, then transition times become easier.

(12:48):

Having these routines throughout the day, where maybe you have lunch time and then 30 minutes of outside play, then you go into the bedrooms, read a story, and it’s naptime doing the same things. And being consistent helps kids know what to expect and they feel comfortable. It seems like it’s, they are, can be a little bit more easy going during those transitions where you need to make those changes. And then really I think about being engaging and present for a set amount of time where you are not distracted by your phone, the TV’s not playing in the background. They’re not carrying a tablet around, but you are down on the floor, playing with them or doing an art project, reading a book, fully engaged in what you’re doing, depending on the, and their amount of focus and how much they want to engage and play in a particular activity.

(13:41):

For, again, the ages, these things change quickly, a set amount of time, maybe that’s 20 minutes and then, or 30 minutes. And then they do 15 minutes of independent play. While you are using that time to get done or prep, dinner, prep, lunch, do whatever you need to do. Studies show that when we are engaged and present with our kids, then they have better independent play. Hopefully that will lessen the you against them than against you feeling that you’re having in terms of self care. So healthcare is so important and again, it looks different at different stages in life. Take time for yourself. The same thing that I just said with the kids to eliminate distractions, eliminate the distractions for yourself. Sometimes five minutes of quiet time without the TVs and the phone in your hand. And all of that feels good. Self care. Doesn’t have to mean that you are by yourself in a bubble bath, relaxing, doing face masks and getting to a massage or going to bed early.

(14:48):

It doesn’t have to be extreme. Self care is finding a balance that might mean going on a walk, getting outside and going on a walk with your kids, pushing them in a stroller that is a form of self care. Taking a few minutes for yourself. Just having that quiet time. That’s a form of self care, little bits of self care throughout the day can have a huge impact. And when your kids are younger, it’s harder to get those big chunks of time that you will find as your kids get older are a little bit easier. Hopefully you will find those ideas helpful. You can start implementing those things. The biggest takeaway would be to identify where your pain point is your a struggle what’s not working and causing you the most frustration at home. Come up with a solution around that to create your routine around that. Remember that you need to do that for 14 days. So two weeks without having to make tweaks in it. And then you know that it’s a sound system it’s working for your family and then on to the next pain point, the next struggle, what else is causing you frustration? And you create a system and a routine around that you keep going from there. Thank you for listening to episode 36 of the intentional edit podcast. I will meet you back here later in the week. For another episode,

(16:14):

That wraps up another quick episode of a tip Tuesday. If you want to be featured on intentional edits, tip Tuesday, go to intentional, edit.com, click on the podcast page in the menu bar, and then scroll all the way down to the bottom. You’ll find a button that says record, tap on that and record your question or share what a is currently overwhelming to you. What is going on that you need help with? I want to know, I need to know your struggles so I can share actionable solutions to help you create simplicity in your home. If you are having this issue. I know other people are having it too, and we wanna help as many people as possible. Head over to the podcast page of intentional, edit dot, and record your question for me there.

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Lauren is the founder of Intentional Edit, a home organization and lifestyle company focused on consciously editing to create efficient and organized spaces. Lauren believes that a functional home that looks and feels good has a positive influence on all aspects of life. Creating systems that allow for the home to function more efficiently, therefore, eliminating most of the clutter and chaos is her priority. While trends come and go organization is always in style!

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