Negative self-talk is common, but it doesn’t have to be. One 60 second hack can change your mindset and the words you say to yourself all day long. Liz is our special guest today and the host of The Tough Love Mom Podcast, she shares details on how to implement this tool and have success with your new habits over and over again.
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Full Episode Transcription (not edited):
Negative self-talk is common, but it doesn’t have to be one 62nd hack can change your mindset. And the words you say to yourself all day long, loses our special guest today and the host of the tough love mom podcast. She shares details on how to implement this tool and have success with your own new habits over and over again.
Hey moms. Welcome to the intentional edit podcast. Do you wanna stop feeling overwhelmed and finally get your home organized. Do you find yourself up late at night, worrying about how you are going to get everything done and not drop the ball? You are wondering where to start and what to do. There is never enough time in the day. The piles of laundry are building up and in it’s already time for after school activities, homework, snacks, and carpool. Again, I’m Lauren. I too want an organized, clean home where my family can make long lasting memories and be present in the moment feeling like there’s never enough time to complete all the daily tasks is exhausting simplicity all around a healthy meal on the table at dinnertime. And a me that contributes to the chores really is attainable. Stop telling yourself that you have to do it all, or it will never get done, or that picky eaters will never allow for a complain free dinner. In this podcast, you will learn exactly how to declutter implement systems and maximize routines that remove the overwhelming unorganized parts of life. Bringing simplicity to your life and home. Come on. It’s time to create a life you love
On this episode of the intentional edit podcast. We have a special guest here to talk about all things habits and how a healthy mindset can help you positively implement new healthy habits. Liz Henderson is mom wife, Christian host of the tough love mom podcast and a consistency coach for moms. Liz shares her incredible journey on her show. The tough love mom podcast. She inspires moms and teaches actionable steps. That work. She has always had an active life and healthy habits, but even then she gained a lot of weight in both her Pregnan. Once she was postpartum, she knew she had a long road ahead when it came to weight loss, leaning on discipline consistency and simple habits. Liz was able to lose 80 pounds in one year after her first baby and 70 pounds in 14 months after her second, she now has a business helping moms get disciplined and lose weight using the same principles, tools, and mindset that Liz used in her own weight loss journey. Liz says, I believe that a lot of messaging and mom culture can overly enable the struggle when really we are so resilient and deep down. Well, as the tough of mom, I don’t beat around the Bush because I care enough about mamas and their health, physical, emotional, and mental to be straightforward and call out your strength. I’m excited to have Liz joining us on this episode of the intentional edit podcast today.
Hi Liz, thank you for joining us on the intentional edit Podcast today. Yeah, thanks for having me on. Yes.
You have an amazing story and such a personal journey that you’ve been able to use to empower and coach postpartum moms from all over. You have grown a successful business, helping these moms with overall health and wellbeing and encouraging them to get disciplined and have the right mindset to achieve weight loss and healthy lifestyle goals. Tell us a little bit more about when or how you realized that mindset was an important piece to the puzzle for these busy moms that you get to work with.
I think it’s funny because I think mindset’s always been a huge piece of me and my journey and it’s been something I think, a strength maybe that I never recognized in myself until after I had kids. And I started to see whoa, like this is really lacking for a lot of people and they don’t, they realize it, but they don’t realize it’s the fix that needs, you know, it’s like the foundational thing that needs to change. And I was just talking to a friend today about how mindsets and everything mindsets, not just in fitness and nutrition mindsets, also in organization mindsets and routine mindset is in parenting mindsets in our job. I mean, mindset is part of every piece of our life. I was a college athlete. I think getting to that point, getting to a division one school and playing volleyball at that level, uh, was obviously a huge piece of that was mindset and forging that early on in my life didn’t realize that at the time.
But, uh, I went, went played, and then afterwards I got into triathlons. I got into just fitness in general on my own because I, for a few months there got real unhealthy. And I was like, I don’t like feeling this way. My head’s in a bad place. I’m not thinking nice thoughts about myself. I was like, I need to stay active. Evidently I was like self motivating enough for me to carry on after my athletic career art. And so gotten triathlons stayed super active. And a few years later, um, my husband and I got married, we started having kids a few years after that. And it was during my first pregnancy where I ended up getting ended up developing preeclampsia, which is a blood pressure disease of pregnancy and can be very serious us. And along with that, I also gained 90 pounds. And that was just like a, a moment for me of going whoa, like I know my body and my choices.
And there’s certain things in pregnancy or not in control of there’s certain things you are. And that development of preeclampsia gaining that weight was definitely both. It was some just how my body responded in that C season of life. And it was also some personal choices that I made throughout pregnancy. But when I got postpartum, I knew I wanted to be around long term. I didn’t want blood pressure issues to be an issue down the road. So I said, I’m gonna lose this weight and I’m gonna do it the only way I knew how, which is just showing up consistently and just doing the work.
Had there ever been a time in your life where you had needed to lose eight before this
Or one? Not really. Okay. Not
Really. So it was like doubly new for you?
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when volleyball ended, I took a couple months off and just kind of like free being an athlete. I could eat whatever I wanted and be health like look healthy. I mean, probably inside wasn’t the healthiest, but I could still look fit for lack of a better term. Um, so I just kind of kept eating that way and I was like, whoa. So, I mean, I’ve probably had about 10 pounds to lose after I had a few months of that. And I was like, I don’t like feeling this way. So about 10, 15 pounds, but nothing not drastic at all. So that consistency piece became huge for me. And over the course of 12 months, a year postpartum, I’d lost 80 of the 90 pounds and got pregnant again. And my goal for that pregnancy was no complications. Let’s have a healthy pregnancy.
I’m gonna work on my mind, which was a lot of learning how to cope. And I, I had done this a lot that first year postpartum was learning how to cope with stress, putting things in my life. So I wasn’t working all the time. So visually my house felt a little better than it did during pregnancy dealing with emotional issues, um, seeing food differently and exercise differently. I’d seen it my whole life as a way to achieve a goal as opposed to a way just to live and let it serve you. Instead of serving it, there was a lot of set work going on that first year postpartum. And then during that next pregnancy and thankfully, uh, completely uncomplicated pregnancy, no issues, totally healthy the whole time still gains 60 pounds. So part of it’s just how my body responds to pregnancy. And when I was postpartum, the second time I started sharing that and realizing I’m not the only one out there that gains a lot of weight pregnant.
And I’m also someone I, I started to realize there’s not a lot of people out there talking about kind of not extreme weight loss, postpartum, but just that what it actually takes. And it’s not this quick fix. It’s not this one program. It’s not this one way of eating. It’s just a lifestyle that you have to create. And so that’s kind of how I got into doing what I do now, because I realized there’s that missing piece of it’s, there’s a lot of foundational things we need to work on. Habits are part of it, what we’re eating and what we’re doing for our body is part of it. But the biggest piece is our mindset, because if we can’t get that right, we can’t actually make it a lifestyle. And I think that’s what people want. Like your listeners want to live and organize life. They wanna live a life that feels, you know, put together. And if you don’t change your mindset at first, that’s not gonna be your lifestyle. It’s just gonna be something you’re always striving towards. And I think the same thing goes for fitness and nutrition. And you’re like living a healthy lifestyle. It’s a mindset. It’s not just actions for me. It’s been mindset is like the foundation of all of it. And I actually started realizing it after having kids and going, this is what a lot of us are missing. Um, and it huge.
Well, thank you so much for sharing that story. Yeah. I think so many times we can look back and we can see how the puzzle pieces fit together and then being able to share that is really helpful to others. A lot of my clients and listeners have struggles with decluttering getting organized, creating systems, to simplify their homes and lives. And like you just said, mindset can be a big issue when it comes to limiting beliefs and hindering people from getting to their goals and desires that they have for themselves or for their families, for their homes, whether it is something that has to do with being organized or weight loss, the mindset piece is really the same. I’m sure you see this a lot with the moms that you work with too. And negative self-talk is a piece to this whole mindset puzzle. Negative self-talk is obviously not a good thing. How have you seen moms be able to successfully change their habits by changing the words and the things that they say to themselves?
Yeah. Oh, this is such a deep issue. And I love talking about it. Something that I think should put your listeners at peace is that you cannot control the first thought that comes to your mind. Just knowing that should hopefully give you just the sense of, okay. It’s not my fault. Like you don’t need to blame yourself for the thoughts coming into your mind because you, you genuinely can’t control that initial thought, but you have a, you have a choice. It is 100% a choice, whether what you’re gonna do with that thought, so are you gonna entertain it and let it, you know, spiral and let it continue on. Are you going to take hold of it and choose to discard it? Cuz you know, it’s not true. Choose to change it based on truth. That’s part of your, what you’ve done in the past part of your experience, what are you gonna do with that thought that,
Okay, so I have to interrupt you for a second cuz I love what you’re saying. So many times something pops into our mind. We think something, or even sometimes we’ve been taught something or it’s just, we do things because it’s the, that we were raised or our parents did things then. So those things come into our mind. And what you’re saying is you don’t have to continue down that path. You don’t have to feed whatever that initial thought was. You have the power yourself to change that.
Yeah. A hundred percent. And sometimes those thoughts that were like entertaining or letting guide our life is something that we might not think we can change because it’s so deep ingrained. <laugh> I think we were talking about this before, but for me playing volleyball, volleyball is like not an endurance sport. It’s an explosive power sport. You are active and short spurt. So for decades I said, I’m not a runner. I’ll never be a runner. I, I hate running. Like when we would have warmups in the strength and conditioning facility, they would have us. They’d be like, all right, find like a treadmill or a bike and stay on there for like five, 10 minutes, get warmed up. I would sprint to the bikes cause I wanted nothing to do with running <laugh>. And part of that was me. I was always slow at that pacer test in elementary school. Like I, I like to be the, I like to do things really well and I never could do that. Well, cause I just wasn’t built for it. So that was part of what built that belief.
This is so funny that you said that because I was always terrible at that, but I was the winner at pushups in sit
Ups. Yes. And I was always the winner at like the flexibility one. Yeah. I think sit ups too. I always knocked that one out of the park. And so it’s like, you know, we all have our different strengths, but I told myself forever that I wasn’t a runner that obviously lasted over 20 years. And so I said, I got into triathlons after volleyball. That was simply, I ran a 5k with friends and I was like, oh my gosh, I can run 3.1 miles. Okay. Like it wasn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I ran three miles and I was like, I guess I can run. So I guess I’ll stand up for the sprint triathlon, which is basically 400 meter swim, give or take 10, 15 miles biking and then a 5k. So it’s a lot of physical activity, but I was like, okay, running’s only part of I can swim. Well, like I can, I’m MEOC a mediocre at all three. And so I was like, I can, I can do that. Did it. When I crossed the finish line, I was like, I’m gonna do an iron man. Cuz that was so fun. I need to do that for like 15 hours. Oh
Little psycho like that sometimes. But I crossed that finish line and I was like, I can do more than this. And that’s when I got into run. I remember this is funny. I remember the first time I went up for a five mile ride. I told I was in South Carolina with my family and I told my mom, I was like, if I don’t get back in an hour, cause it took me about 10 minutes to run a mile. So I gave myself a little grace. I said, if I don’t get back in an hour, call 9 1 1 cuz I’m dead somewhere. Or like almost dying cuz I legitimately still had that belief in there and, and I’m serious. I was like, so I still had that belief in there that I’m not a runner, but I’ll try what got me out of that belief. And I’ve done a lot of running since I’ve done a lot of different running challenges.
What got me outta that belief was simply doing the, the physical work of actually running to break that down. And every single time I in my head that I said, I’m not a runner. I proved that wrong. I proved that thought wrong with choosing to say, but I’m going to run today so I can run. Then I followed that up with action and actually doing the thing I said I couldn’t do for so long. There’s this book called limitless. If you feel like nerd out about stuff like this, it’s a great read. It’s by Jim quick. And he writes, when you say you’re defined by a particular action, you’re essentially priming yourself to identify with and justify a certain behavior. So basically what you say about yourself, solidifies it as truth in your mind, which I’m sure you’re all like, yeah. That’s what you’ve been saying.
He also says that when you consciously decide to identify with a habit or a goal, some sort you want to, that you wanna like create or achieve or work into your life. When you identify with that habit or consciously UN identify with the habit, you no longer want you’ll experience a lot of power because the highest drive that we have as humans like within our brains is to act consistently with what we believe our, about ourselves. Our brain wants what we’re do to align with how we see ourselves. So you really have to be conscious of what you’re thinking. If you, if it’s something you wanna change, but what you’re thinking and saying is something totally different. You have to change those. They have to, they have to align or you will not make that change and maybe it’ll make the change, but it won’t become a lifestyle. It’s so intertwined it.
So with that, your limiting beliefs can keep you stuck and keep you where you are or your mind. You can make the decision right now to go for whatever it is that you want to make. Those changes. And really the potential is limitless.
Yeah. Literally I think that’s why I probably titled the book bad <laugh> but I mean seriously, something like if it’s like decluttering, your whole house is a goal, but you’re saying I’ll just never have time. Like I don’t know where to start all these things in your head. They might be true because you genuinely haven’t address those with actual action yet, but you have to start changing your thought and saying, so if that thought comes in of, I don’t have time to declutter my whole house. Okay. I do have time to declutter that top bathroom door like tonight when, before I go to bed.
Yeah. And I’m always talking about that. We make excuses, but if something is important, we will, we can find that time. When you break things down into small manageable tasks, you can achieve anything.
So going back to the negative self talk, everything you’re saying makes so much sense. But when we are in the habit of doing this negative self talk for so long, it really becomes kind of like a bad habit. It can be hard to break. So you have shared on one of your podcast episodes, this daily practice that only takes 60 seconds a day, which is amazing because everyone has an extra minute in the day and there’s no excuses to not do it in this practice that you have used, like to make weight loss easier. Can you share how it and explain how we could use the 62nd habit to change thoughts and mindsets really? With anything that someone is struggling with?
Yeah, totally. So that example we just used of like decluttering your whole house, your bathroom drawer, whatever it is. I want you to start thinking about. So in 60 seconds, this all you need for this in a piece of paper. So listener or could even stop and do stop right now and go grab a piece of paper if you’re like not driving, because in my opinion, it’s great to learn and listen, but you really won’t change unless you implement something. So if you can go grab a piece of paper, do so if you’re like running or driving, you know, do this later, <laugh> save this episode. It can go do later. Um, cuz that’s when I listen to a podcast is like driving and running and stuff. Of course, of course. Right? Yeah, of course. <laugh> like on the go try to take notes on my phone. <laugh> not driving when
I, I always, if I’m doing something else and I wanna come back to it, I like really quickly take a screenshot. Yeah. And then I know like exactly what minute and second it’s at. So,
Oh, that’s smart. That’s super smart. You’re so on top the like we hack like better love it. Um, so you have your piece of paper and for the first 15 seconds of this, like set a timer, you can do it for two minutes. If you need to, whatever, it’s fine. But ideally you only need 60 seconds. And for the first 15 you don’t have to write anything. So all of you can do this right now. Just think about, and, and if it’s a specific area, like you probably came to this podcast today in the mindset of organizing your home. So if that’s something area you wanna think about, go for it, but what is it like what’s your ideal place look like? What is it that you want to feel? What does your mindset feel like? What are you thinking? What thoughts are you thinking? How are you showing up? What are your daily habits, your ideal place. And you could be as generic as you want. Or you could be as specific as you want. Like when you walk into your bedroom, what does it look like? You could think that’s specific or it could just be how you show up as a, a mom and a wife and a woman every single day. So,
So you’re really a taking in these 15 seconds and, and imagining what you want something to be like, what you want something to look like or feel like,
Yeah, literally visualization, daydreaming, whatever you wanna call it. Okay. So 15 seconds think about that. And once that time’s up, however long it took you take the next 45 seconds to just start writing some statements down about you like about yourself. They can be, I am statements. They can just be simple sentences or whatever about how you look, feel, show up as what you’re thinking, just like brain dump. Okay. So you pictured the environment around you and yourself. Now write down some tangible things that are true about you in that place. Because when you’re doing that, you’re starting to speak to yourself and come up with those thoughts that you can start relying on to make that change. What you’re basically doing is aligning how you’re thinking with how you want to be showing up and where you wanna go, that change you wanna make, or that goal that you wanna reach.
You can do this daily. You can do it once a week. It doesn’t matter. But I mean, doing it daily will be more impactful, but that’s how you can consciously cuz our thoughts go. We think like tens of thousands of thoughts a day. And if we just let them run rampant and not take control of them, that’s just how we’re gonna keep living. We’re never going to actually be able cuz like you said, it’s a habit. So you’re not gonna actually be able to make the change in your thought process if you’re not doing something. So this is a something tangible and there’s something about pen and paper and writing it, the connection between your hand and your brain. That’s very, very impactful that can make change faster. So do that VI visualization for 15, 20 seconds and then spend the rest of that minute. Just writing down some true statements about what you would be like in that place. So you can start making that connection in your brain between who you are and what you speak about yourself and what that ideal place looks like.
So because this is so quick and really everyone has a minute. And even if it were to take you two minutes, everybody can find two minutes or a minute in the day, I would love to just go to the store, buy a spiral notebook and have this like next to your bed or somewhere where if you have like quiet time throughout the day, pull it out and do the activity visualize for 15 seconds, write the statements for the 45 seconds and then use that same notebook every single day. Imagine how six months down the road or a year down the road, looking back how powerful would be and to see how far you came in a very short amount of time just by changing what you’re thinking each day.
Truly that would be so, I mean you saying that me I’m sitting here like, man, I wish I was doing that. You know, eight, nine years ago when I was saying I’m not a runner because so much of my mindset has changed since then so much. And we’re constantly either growing and going forward or we’re sliding backwards. Like there’s really no in between, if you feel stagnant, you’re probably going backwards in habits and all of that stuff that you want to be changing or growing in, there’s really no in, in between it’s forward or backwards. It’s so cool to be able to look back on that and gratifying, like motivating if you like to use that word.
Yes. I, I mean, I, I love that you shared this today and I really love that it can work for anything that you’re struggling with really in any aspect of life mm-hmm <affirmative> and what I used to be a teacher for both high school and elementary, but you can do this with very young kids. Like this should be a powerful activity to do in a classroom or with kids of your own a daily practice that isn’t too overwhelming, but retrains the brain.
Yeah, it totally does. And that’s what I think is the neatest part about how we were created is we are constantly capable of change in a direction we can change in ways we don’t wanna be changing if we’re influenced by the wrong things. And we can be changed in ways that we want, we can direct that we’re intentional about it. And it just takes like a minute, a minute, 2, 3, 4 of intention each day. It’s not anything huge change is change is slow. But when you look back on it, it’s, world’s different
Having these positive thoughts and switching up the negative thoughts, it makes it so that the change is possible. And I feel like it can happen so much faster just because you’re in the right mindset.
Yeah, exactly. And I think it gives that we probably all know that we’re capable of change in our brain is, has plasticity. I think that’s how you say it not good before. Sometimes <laugh> our brain has that ability to change always. And we know that, but it’s like, okay, how do I do it? And it truly starts with what we’re thinking. Cause what we’re thinking becomes what we’re saying and what we say. I mean the tongue has so much power and what we say can really sway where we end up
We’re capable of so so much we just need the tools to get it there. Yeah. So this 62nd hack is really retraining the brain to be positive and motivate instead of self talk, self sabotaging. I can’t mm-hmm <affirmative> find the words today
Either I’m rubbing off, sorry. <laugh>
<laugh> instead of feeding into that negative idea or the negative thought, it’s a way to turn that around. When I listen to you, explain this, I have all sorts of things going through my brain that this would work for. And you could really use this technique for any area of life where you need to find a little bit of encouragement where you wanna make a change, but you’ve just been kind of stuck and unable to do it. It reminds me of the, like the gratitude practice or an attitude of gratitude or just in acknowledging what you’re thankful for in a gratitude journal. But it fits into the busy mom life of being just 60 seconds a day. It’s not a big practice. It’s really just a minute. There’s really not any excuses to do this. So it’s kind of like your podcast, the tough love mom podcast, tell us where listeners can find you and how they can connect with you.
Yeah. So I’m the host of the tough love mom podcast. So simplest place to come get some more encouragement and more of this type of stuff. And my website’s a tough love mom.com. And I’m also on Instagram at Mrs. Liz Henderson. So you can find me there too, if you just wanna follow, but the best stuff’s over on the podcast. So I,
Listeners to go
There, I’m a listener. And I also follow you on Instagram cuz your kids are so adorable that I’d love to see everything you’re sharing over there too. I have one final question for you today just to something for fun that I ask all of my guests at this stage in life. If you could outsource one home task, something like cooking or cleaning or homework or landscaping, really anything you can think of, what would it be? And then what of the home tasks or like mom duties? What do you think is not a big deal? And you’re fine doing it.
I love this. So I’ve come to love the dishes. I’ve always loved laundry. I think it’s the type a person in me that likes the organization of the colors and the process. So I would not outsource laundry for a long time.
Love. I love that you are acknowledging this cuz so many people struggle with laundry and hate laundry.
I think the biggest reason I love it now is I can close the laundry room door and it’s like my Oasis and my quiet space. <laugh>
So private time for a few minutes.
Okay. It really is. It’s like my few minutes of me time every couple days. So I, I love doing the laundry I always have. Okay. So silly saying that I would probably outsource cleaning cause man, I’ve tried to get into the habit of it. Um, and like put it into our week, but then I’ve got a three and a half year old and a one and a half year old. So our week is always different and yeah, I would probably outsource cleaning <laugh> and part of that is like what I say in my head, my mom grew up saying she doesn’t dusting. Well guess what is the tour that I do the least dusting because it’s become a belief in my mind. So I’m constantly working on this too. <laugh>
Yeah. So there we go. It’s right back to the mindset. Yep.
Okay. That’s awesome. Thank you for sharing. That was such great information today. Thank you for joining us. It can be difficult to feel like you can add one more thing to your day when you’re in the thick of busy mom life. But Liz gave us the ultimate tool to get on track. When you want to accomplish something new and have set a goal for yourself, her 62nd habit hack will work for anyone and there’s never going to be an excuse to not get it done because it only takes one minute a day. You can use this 62nd trick to, to change your mindset and set yourself up for success. By changing the words you say to yourself throughout the day. Thank you so much for sharing your awesome idea with us for more inspiration and tactical ideas. Go listen to Liz over on the tough love mom podcast. You won’t be sorry. It’s an awesome show. And thank you for listening to another episode of the intentional edit podcast. I’ll meet you back here next week for another episode.
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Lauren is the founder of Intentional Edit, a home organization and lifestyle company focused on consciously editing to create efficient and organized spaces. Lauren believes that a functional home that looks and feels good has a positive influence on all aspects of life. Creating systems that allow for the home to function more efficiently, therefore, eliminating most of the clutter and chaos is her priority. While trends come and go organization is always in style!
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